The New Yorker

1. What was George W. Bush’s response when asked what he and British Prime Minister Tony Blair had in common?

(a) “We both had our legitimacy questioned, except for him.”

(b) “We both use Colgate toothpaste.”

(d) “We both laugh when people are executed.”

2. Who is Paul Offner?

(a) The man who testified that John Ashcroft once started off a job interview with him by asking, “Do you have the same sexual preferences as most men?”

(b) The black Missouri Supreme Court judge whose appointment to the federal bench Ashcroft blocked in the Senate by falsely claiming that he was soft on the death penalty and “pro-criminal.”

(d) The editor of the virulently racist publication Southern Partisan, which Ashcroft has praised for helping to “set the record straight.”

3. On February 7th, a disgruntled I.R.S. worker fired a handgun outside the White House. Dick Cheney was in his office working at the time. Where was George W. Bush?

(a) In the Oval Office, refining his education program.

(b) In the Cabinet room with Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, planning the attack on Iraq.

(d) In the residence, working out.

4. True or false: Eight weeks into George W. Bush’s term, a Times/CBS News poll reported that twenty-five per cent of Americans believe that people other than Bush are “really running the government most of the time.”

5. Complete George W. Bush’s statement “You teach a child to read and ___________ will pass a literacy test.”

(a) they

(b) he or her

(d) it

Match the Observation About George W. Bush with the Observer:

6. “He kisses everybody that gets within reach.”

7. “He has to stop drawing his eyebrows together too closely to convey seriousness; it makes him look like an owl about to pounce.”

8. “His eyes are close together and dark, two little raisins on a beige muffin, and they both sparkle and are unexpressive.”

9. “He’s not the kind of guy I’d like to sit on the bank and fish with. I’d like to throw him in the water.”

10. “George W. Bush is like a bad comic working the room, a moron.”

(a) Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan.

(b) Former Senator Eugene McCarthy.

(d) Actor Martin Sheen.

(e) Retired logging-equipment salesman Walter Taylor.

11. When the White House aide Karl Rove said, “That would be nice. That would be really nice. That would be really, really nice,” what fantasy was he indulging?

(a) China deciding it didn’t really need an apology after all.

(b) Arnold Schwarzenegger being elected governor of California.

(d) Democrats ceasing to point out the inequity of the tax cut.

12. Which headlines did not appear in an American newspaper?

(a) “E.P.A. TO KILL NEW ARSENIC LIMITS FOR WATER”

(b) “U.S. PROPOSES END TO TESTING FOR SALMONELLA IN SCHOOL BEEF”

(d) “BUSH, IN REVERSAL, WON’T SEEK CUT IN EMISSIONS OF CARBON DIOXIDE”

(e) “BUSH TO CLOSE OFFICES ON AIDS, RACE”

(f) “BUSH HALTS PROTECTION ORDER FOR HABITAT OF ENDANGERED SHEEP”

(g) “WHITE HOUSE ENDS BAR ASSOCIATION’S ROLE IN SCREENING FEDERAL JUDGES”

(h) “BUSH’S BUDGET WOULD CUT THREE PROGRAMS TO AID CHILDREN”

(i) “MORATORIUM ASKED ON SUITS THAT SEEK TO PROTECT SPECIES”

(j) “BUSH BUDGET ON HEALTH CARE WOULD CUT AID TO UNINSURED”

(k) “BUSH TEAM URGES REPEAL OF MINING RULE”

(l) “ADMINISTRATION PROMISES BUSINESS-FRIENDLY WORKPLACE SAFETY REGULATIONS”

(m) “NADER SAYS THERE MAY BE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BUSH AND GORE AFTER ALL”

Answers:

(1) b, (2) a, (3) d, (4) False—fifty per cent believed it, (5) b, (6) b, (7) c, (8) a, (9) e, (10) d, (11) b, (12) m.

\| home
	The First Hundred Days by Paul Slansky Issue of 2001-05-07 Posted 2001-04-30 1. What was George W. Bush’s response when asked what he and British Prime Minister Tony Blair had in common? (a) “We both had our legitimacy questioned, except for him.” (b) “We both use Colgate toothpaste.” (c) “We once did blow together.” (d) “We both laugh when people are executed.” 2. Who is Paul Offner? (a) The man who testified that John Ashcroft once started off a job interview with him by asking, “Do you have the same sexual preferences as most men?” (b) The black Missouri Supreme Court judge whose appointment to the federal bench Ashcroft blocked in the Senate by falsely claiming that he was soft on the death penalty and “pro-criminal.” (c) The gay man whose appointment as Ambassador to Luxembourg Ashcroft tried to block. (d) The editor of the virulently racist publication Southern Partisan, which Ashcroft has praised for helping to “set the record straight.” 3. On February 7th, a disgruntled I.R.S. worker fired a handgun outside the White House. Dick Cheney was in his office working at the time. Where was George W. Bush? (a) In the Oval Office, refining his education program. (b) In the Cabinet room with Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, planning the attack on Iraq. (c) In the study, running some new nicknames by Karen Hughes. (d) In the residence, working out. 4. True or false: Eight weeks into George W. Bush’s term, a Times/CBS News poll reported that twenty-five per cent of Americans believe that people other than Bush are “really running the government most of the time.” 5. Complete George W. Bush’s statement “You teach a child to read and ___________ will pass a literacy test.” (a) they (b) he or her (c) her and him (d) it Match the Observation About George W. Bush with the Observer: 6. “He kisses everybody that gets within reach.” 7. “He has to stop drawing his eyebrows together too closely to convey seriousness; it makes him look like an owl about to pounce.” 8. “His eyes are close together and dark, two little raisins on a beige muffin, and they both sparkle and are unexpressive.” 9. “He’s not the kind of guy I’d like to sit on the bank and fish with. I’d like to throw him in the water.” 10. “George W. Bush is like a bad comic working the room, a moron.” (a) Wall Street Journal columnist Peggy Noonan. (b) Former Senator Eugene McCarthy. (c) USA Today TV critic Robert Bianco. (d) Actor Martin Sheen. (e) Retired logging-equipment salesman Walter Taylor. 11. When the White House aide Karl Rove said, “That would be nice. That would be really nice. That would be really, really nice,” what fantasy was he indulging? (a) China deciding it didn’t really need an apology after all. (b) Arnold Schwarzenegger being elected governor of California. (c) George W. Bush getting the Cold War going again. (d) Democrats ceasing to point out the inequity of the tax cut. 12. Which headlines did not appear in an American newspaper? (a) “E.P.A. TO KILL NEW ARSENIC LIMITS FOR WATER” (b) “U.S. PROPOSES END TO TESTING FOR SALMONELLA IN SCHOOL BEEF” (c) “BUSH REVERSES CLINTON POLICY ON FEDERAL AID FOR ABORTION COUNSELLING OVERSEAS” (d) “BUSH, IN REVERSAL, WON’T SEEK CUT IN EMISSIONS OF CARBON DIOXIDE” (e) “BUSH TO CLOSE OFFICES ON AIDS, RACE” (f) “BUSH HALTS PROTECTION ORDER FOR HABITAT OF ENDANGERED SHEEP” (g) “WHITE HOUSE ENDS BAR ASSOCIATION’S ROLE IN SCREENING FEDERAL JUDGES” (h) “BUSH’S BUDGET WOULD CUT THREE PROGRAMS TO AID CHILDREN” (i) “MORATORIUM ASKED ON SUITS THAT SEEK TO PROTECT SPECIES” (j) “BUSH BUDGET ON HEALTH CARE WOULD CUT AID TO UNINSURED” (k) “BUSH TEAM URGES REPEAL OF MINING RULE” (l) “ADMINISTRATION PROMISES BUSINESS-FRIENDLY WORKPLACE SAFETY REGULATIONS” (m) “NADER SAYS THERE MAY BE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BUSH AND GORE AFTER ALL” Answers: (1) b, (2) a, (3) d, (4) False—fifty per cent believed it, (5) b, (6) b, (7) c, (8) a, (9) e, (10) d, (11) b, (12) m.